From an article in the Los Angeles Times...

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake, But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski
told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.

Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki: Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching
session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil in, " he
explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot, but he
wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of
intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewkis's hair and severely burning his face. It also set
fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, which in turn ignited a larger picket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the
rodent out like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and
second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Contributed by HWr7068303

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