"Insider's Guide to the Male Vocabulary"

"Haven't I seen you before?" = "Nice butt."

"I'm a Romantic." = "I'm poor."

"I need you." = "My hand is tired."

"I am different from all the other guys." = "I am not circumcised."

"I want a commitment." = "I'm sick of playing with myself."

"You're the only girl I've ever cared about." = "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

"I really want to get to know you better." = "So I can tell my friends about it."

"It's just orange juice, try it." = "3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head."

"She's kinda cute." = "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary."

"I don't know if I like her." = "She won't sleep with me."

"I miss you so much." = "I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to look good."

"Was it good for you?" = "I'm insecure about my manhood."

"How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?" = "Is my love tool really that small?"

"I had a wonderful time last night." = "Who the hell are you?"

"Do you love me?" = "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

"Do you 'really' love me?" = "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."

"How much do you love me?" = "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."

"I have something to tell you." = "Get tested."

"I'll give you a call." = "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."

"I've been thinking a lot." = "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

"I think we should just be friends." = "You're ugly."

"I've learned a lot from you." = "Next!!!!"

Contributed by RC

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