Men often find blowing off a chick the most difficult part of dating process. The closest they ever come to telling a chick it's over is to look her straight in the eye and say, "I'll call you next week." But there is now a great way to blow a chick off. It's safe. It's affordable, and the best thing is the chick has no opportunity to throw things at you. And it's at your fingertips right now. E-mail.
That's how all the happening, 90's kind of guys are telling chicks they're
not worthy. You'll feel like a real man knowing you have told her how you really feel from
the safety of your keyboard. And you can delete her response without ever reading it. What
could be more painless? Following is an Email rejection letter: Men can use it the next
time they need to put their main squeeze on waivers. The text of the letter follows. The
verbiage can be altered to fit both men and women....
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Dear (her name),
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention to become the
future Mrs. (your last name). As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly
tough this year and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to
make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come
available or I become extremely horny. So that you may find better success in your future
romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified
from the competition:
(Check those that apply)
___ Your failure to reach for your purse even in a feigned attempt to
pay for dinner by the fourth date displayed a stunning ignorance of
basic economics.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms and K-Y Jelly by
the truckload" indicates that you may be slightly over-qualified for
this position.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 question
about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
___ The only question you did ask was how much money I make.
___ You neglected to reach over and unlock my car door from the inside
after I opened the passenger side door for you.
___ My breasts are bigger than yours.
___ Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should,
however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please
resubmit your application.
___ Your repeated comments such as, "Is it still called a penis when
it's this small?" were both uncalled for and thoughtless.
___ The way you enthusiastically jumped up on the stage at the
alternative Bar and danced with the lesbians demonstrated that you are
far too impressionable and have a disconcerting lack of commitment to
heterosexuality.
___ Your revelation that you would most certainly allow your
ex-boyfriend to shack up with you again after he "beats that domestic
abuse rap" shows compassion but makes it difficult to take you
seriously.
___ Although your inability to achieve orgasm was of paramount
importance to me, your suggestion that we invite the basketball team
into the bedroom so it would be "just like college" seemed somewhat
extreme and inappropriate.
___ I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely,
Your Name (Optional)
Contributed by Beth from Trinidad