It
is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and
pussy...
A beer
is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
A beer
tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.
Having
an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers
have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie
If you
get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy
24
beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy
Too
much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
If a
beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.
If you
come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.
6 beers
in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy
Buy too
much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie
It is
socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy
If a
cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy
With
beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.
Wearing
a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.
Pussy
can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy
If you
think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy
Peeling
labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.
If you
try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work,
you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie
If you
suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt
you down like the dog you are and kill you.
Advantage: Beer.
If you
change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.
The
best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.
The
worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad
beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie
Good
beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.
The
government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
Contributed by Roger
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