Bad Day At Work

The next time you have had a bad day at work, think of this guy......
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he
sent his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worse
job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

Here is how it went:

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I could share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you
with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of crap sucks the water out of the sea and it heats it to
a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a good
plan and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all
of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the
hose out from my back, but the damage had been done. In agony, I realized
what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my wet suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers,
were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing
in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry compression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon
as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for
2 days because my asshole was swollen shut.

So, the next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Your Loving Brother,
Rob the Bottom-Dweller

Contributed by Amy J

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