90's Sex Quiz for Men

You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
b) Blood-test results.
c) A cab.
d) Five tequila slammers.

You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first.
b) You both climax simultaneously.
c) The director can set up for a close-up.
d) You don't miss football.

Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Strictly for cats.
b) Healthy, creative love-play.
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
d) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about.

A prostitute is:
a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression.
b) Someone who provides an essential service.
c) A cheap date.
d) A valued employee.

A wife is:
a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression.
b) Someone who provides an essential service.
c) A cheap date.
d) A valued employee.

How can you tell when your partner has an orgasm?
a) When she drops her nail file.
b) When she goes the color of a Chicago Bulls uniform.
c) When the Earth moves.
d) Who cares?

Which of the following lines best fits into your ideal role-playing sexual
fantasy:
a) "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn ..."
b) "I've got a nasty swelling down here, Nurse ..."
c) "You're a lovely, fluffy little sheep ..."
d) "Another consonant please, Carol ..."

You take a woman out to dinner and the bill comes to $300. Do you expect:
a) An overdraft.
b) Oral sex.
c) Her to pay next time.
d) A thank-you letter.

Woman who consent to having sex with when they're drunk are:
a) Easier.
b) Unfortunately, probably incapable of rational judgment.
c) Fortunately, probably incapable of rational judgment.
d) A tricky defense in court.

You wake to find your partner clutching your penis in one hand
and a carving knife in the other. Do you:
a) Talk through her anger.
b) Shout "Look behind you!" and make a run for it.
c) Ask her to put down the offensive weapon.
d) Ask her to put down the knife.

A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) Is uptight and a waste of time.
b) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
c) May need glasses.
d) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Contributed by MJD

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